Unbeating Heart
by Jenalin Marie
Summary: Bella has fallen into James' grasp in Phoenix. After reigning in her strength to keep Edward from knowing her pain, the venom has already spread and there's nothing Edward can do to change it. Bella has unwillingly been turned to a vampire. How is she going to handle being a crazed newborn? BPOV & EPOV
1. Chapter 1

I knew how stupid my decision to come to Phoenix alone was. Edward was wrestling through the walls with a lethal, experienced vampire while I lay on the floor bleeding, broken, and completely rendered useless.

Despite my feeble attempts to stray Edward from saving me, here he was, completely in harm's way because I was the weak human he couldn't get away from. My leg was broken. Shattered into a million pieces and I couldn't stop myself from releasing another scream through my lungs. And then it was black. I was slowly drifting in and out of consciousness when I heard an angel beckoning me to wake.

"Oh no, Bella no!" Edwards wonderful, beautiful voice cried out in horror. I tried opening my eyes, but the blackness kept overtaking me, pulling me deep under where only muffled voices tried to lift me out of my stupor. Then there was pain; a slight burn in my right hand where I figured glass had punctured through my skin.

"Bella, please! Bella listen to me, please, please Bella, please!" Edward was begging me and I hung to his every word. Clinging to consciousness with every ounce of strength that I had. I could feel the blood trickling from my head. The sticky, salty, rusty mess oozed down my forehead.

"She's lost some blood, but the head wound isn't deep," Carlisle was here. Where was James? They needed to get out of here before he killed them too!

"Watch out for her leg, it's broken."I could hear Edwards snarl escape his breath and I knew that this couldn't be heaven. Death had no pain. And with that I fought for my life. If Edward was here, I would never leave him. A few broken bones could not separate us. I would live through this. I had to be strong. I could not let him know how much I was hurting, so I clenched my mouth shut.

The pain in my leg started to fade. Maybe not so much as fade as my hand started to burn. The searing pain was not a small burn anymore, but felt as if I had submerged my arm in a cascading fire. My skin was melting with it, I was sure of it. What was happening to me? The fire licked up my limbs and climbed into the core of my body. I couldn't help it, the scream escaped me and I could not hold it down anymore.

"Edward, it hurts!" I screamed. Could no one see that I was burning? The heat was overwhelming and surely someone would notice.

"Please!" I screamed, "Please!"

"I know, Bella. Carlisle will give you something, it will stop."

Of course he would. Edward would never let something happen to me. My shuttering breath became shallow and I kept my mouth shut as I shed enough tears in hopes to extinguish the fire.

"I grabbed some morphine from my trunk Edward. Inject this into her arm, and within a few minutes her pain will begin to fade." Carlisle was going to save me.

I felt an odd sensation wash through my arms as if the drug crippled me into a stupor. The injection had not lessened my pain, but rather paralyzed and tied me to it. There was no escaping it. My arm became limp and the rest of my body was lifted into the air in a fit of terror and I screamed once more.

"Stop the fire! Stop it please! Please Edward!" My cries of insanity ripped through the air and the fire drank in my energy as a fuel to burn faster.

"Carlisle, her hand!" Edward choked back these appalling little words.

"He bit her." Carlisle's voice sounded worried and I could vaguely feel pressure from his slight hand touching the wound, making it burn deeper.

"It's too late Edward, we found out too late. It's already spreading to her heart."

"No Carlisle! You have to do something, anything, please please, please, don't let this happen." Edwards frantic cries for help reached my ears as my head was held down for the morphine. No longer mobile, I was this fire's prisoner. I was going to burn to death, and I couldn't even say goodbye. _Please Edward, _I thought. _If you can hear my thoughts this once please know that I love you. I love you baby, I love you._

With that, I left myself to the scorching desert, letting the fire devour my very soul.


	2. Chapter 2

**Edwards POV**

What had I done? This exquisite girl had trusted me with her life, and I had all but damned it! I was a minute late and a heartbeat short, and where had that gotten me? Wrenched over this beautiful girl silently being burned alive. Please dear God let her live. As selfish as I am I cannot live and will not live without her.

"We need to get her out of here Edward." My father tapped my shoulder and nudged me to follow him out. "Please Edward. She's going to be fine."

"Don't say that she'll be fine. Look at what I've done to her! Because of me, she will endure more pain than any human should ever have to go through."

"Edward, son. What's done is done. You cannot change anything at this point, unless you decide to take her life. It is not your fault with what has happened to her. James would have sought her out regardless, and then she would be dead. If you wish her to leave this life and move on from the next, you must move swiftly. However, please think strongly about your decisions son. If it were up to her, she would never want to leave you. You want this. Take it as a blessing. I'm going to help the others take care of the mess with James. Please son. Get her to the car."

A blessing…more like a life of hell on earth. Carlisle knew that I could never take her life. As long as her heart keeps beating, I would never take her life. I looked down at Bella's most perfect and precious face. The usual serene, dreamlike state as if she were sleeping were replaced by a clenched mouth and tightened eyelids. Why was she not screaming? What had gone wrong? I thought back at everything that had happened. She had told me it hurt. She asked me to make it stop. Why oh why couldn't I have just left this poor girl alone and live her life?

I lowered my head down to her ear and whispered. "Bella, I love you. Bella I am so sorry. Keep your heart beating my love. I'm here."

I loved her. God knew that much. I never lived a day in my existence until I had met this splendid being. My life had been a Moonless Night. Living with no measure of time, no measure of happiness, and certainly no measure of the love that I had experienced in the short months I had been with my wonderful Bella.

What was she feeling now? I couldn't hold back from thinking of my transformation process. It was anything but silent. I writhed out in agony, and flung myself in every direction possible. Desperate to extinguish the fire that was quenching my body. My very veins burned within me. Every cell within me scorched to nothing as I screamed out loud in pain. There was only one thought going in my head. Let me die. Please oh please just let me die. Then here was Bella. Still as death and silent as night. I gently lifted her broken body into my arms and held my breath against the dried blood caked over her skin. The wound was struggling shut as the venom worked its way around to heal it.

And then the monster within my roared to life. Venom pooled into my mouth and I wanted her. Throughout the months of sustaining my strength against it, the blood was right there in front of me, and the aroma of it was changing quickly into the most beautiful perfume. My eyes blazed to life and I lowered my head to her neck. Her blood was clean there. The aroma of the most delectable, luscious blood I had ever experienced. My lips parted as my teeth tore into her flesh.

The sensation washed over me as my frenzied animalistic nature took over. Ecstacy. Pure bliss! I simply couldn't get enough, so I bit into her left arm. One drop was all it took.

The taste was off. The haze in my mind cleared as I realized what I had done. The only person I would ever love sat helpless in my arms as I drank the life from her. I dropped to my knees _Oh please forgive me Bella, I am a murderer please forgive me!_ My poison now ran through her veins. The venom from her neck leaked slowly downward as I noticed her temperature dropping just the slightest. I would be a part of her forever now. The monster she would become was contributed not only by the monster James, but me as well. I would spend the rest of eternity making it up to her. If by some chance on earth she would ever let me do that. _Please Bella open your eyes. _

Forever. I could have forever with her. My heart lifted at the thought of being able to keep her. I wondered if my dear Bella would look at her life the same way Rosalie did. Wishing day by day, hour by hour that she could live a human life. I had robbed her of humanity the way Carlisle had taken it from each of us. She would never bear children. Never see her father again. She would spend the rest of her existence fighting her thirst. What if she didn't want me when she woke from her burning hell? She had counted on me to save her, and I sat here and not only watched, but quickened the pace by spreading more poison into her system.

Spreading it quicker? She needed more venom. Still on my knees, I lowered her to the floor and closed my head into her once more. I ruled over my thoughts and held my breath. A bite to her forearm, a bite under each knee, a bite into each of her calves, and I licked the wound shut as the venom closed over it.

_Please Bella, hurry back to me. I wont leave you, I love you._

I jumped to my feet once more and carried her outside to Carlisle's Mercedes. Sliding into the back of the car with Alice, my father turned from the driver's side with a look of encouragement.

_You can do this Edward. Be strong. _

His thoughts were somewhat comforting, but it was Alice's vision that made my stomach twist with excitement.

"This was meant to be Edward. I've seen it. It's the only way." Alice smiled with her eyes gleaming in excitement.

We drove through the afternoon, and all through the night. What would have taken a normal traveler over a day to reach Forks, we did it in seventeen hours. Bella laid silent in my arms throughout the entire journey. Running quickly upstairs to Carlisle's office, I set her body down in the lounge chair to examine her.

"You bit her again?" He asked.

"I thought the extra venom in her system would quicken the transformation process. Was I wrong? Did it cause her more pain?" My voice cracked on the last word.

"No you were quick to think Edward. Entering your venom throughout every entrance to her bloodstream might quicken the process by 10 hours or so. It seems as if the morphine is almost completely burned off."

"I know I can smell it. Carlisle, why is she so still? Something must be wrong."

"Listen to her heart Edward. The beat is steady and her temperature has dropped nearly eighteen degrees already. It seems as though everything is on track." Carlisle spoke with a sure voice, but I could tell through his thoughts, that his remarks were as uncertain as mine. _I've never witnessed such a quiet transformation. Surely something must be different with her. She was already aware of how it works. Perhaps her preparation has lessened the painful experience. Maybe the morphine worked?_

"What do you mean her preparation for this? Did she expect to become one of us?" I quivered at the thought and hoped dearly this was what she wanted.

"The discussion has crossed paths with Alice on several occasions. Bella was aware that if she were ever to be permanently with you, she would have to change. For as dangerous as it was for you to be with her son, I'm certain she was right."

"Why did she never discuss this with me? What about my feelings? What if I don't want her to be one of us?" My voice was now raised and breaking on every word. The blasphemy! How could this young, perfected person want a life like this? I was not worthy of her.

"Please Edward. Surely you've thought the same things. You want her to be with you. You love her do you not?"

"She's owned my heart from the minute she spoke my name." And it was true. There would never be another woman on this planet that would hold a candle to Bella.

"Then be patient, son. Give yourself one more day on how you will handle her newborn life. She is going to need you. If you love her, then be there for her."

And so I would. The subtle vampire differences were already starting to take shape in Bella's form. Her translucent skin was hardening. The color was changing to pale perfection as if she were sculpted in the heavens by gods. A luminescent sheer glow crept over her mahogany hair, and her lips were now fuller with a beautiful pink pigment. When I first fell in love with Bella, I thought that I would never see another such beautiful creature again, but as she turned into one of us, my heart nearly floated through the roof. What I was seeing was beyond description!

I could have a life with her. I would marry this fair creature with the first opportunity I was given. As soon as she woke, she would never leave my side. We would live through eternity with each other, and my selfish mind could not let myself wallow in the thoughts of taking her humanity.

My euphoric mood was suddenly cut short by a blood-curdling scream.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi folks! Thank you all to my new followers! I've always been a huge fan of writing, but I have just started attempting fanfics as of this week. Please write reviews! ALso check out my other story Death is life, which takes place post BD. You all are awesome, thanks again!**

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><p>Bella's POV<p>

One moment I was being drowned in the fire. Muffled voices above me spoke, but I couldn't comprehend a single word. Trying to push myself out of it with all the might I had. My teeth clenched tightly together and nothing administered into my mind except for the concept of pain. With each dragging moment, the fire raged on, building bigger and hotter. What had I done to deserve such misery? Please let me die. If I was dead, please kill my existence. This was too much to possibly comprehend.

In the middle of my own misery, I noticed the regained control over my hands. My fingers twitched and began to tremble immensely. My brain found new meaning and could now wrap the concept of existence into my mind. My mouth found its presence and before I could control it coming out of my mouth, a scream escaped me!

"PUT IT OUT!" I screamed. "Edward please!" My screams turned to whimpers and I waited for my tears that would never come. They must have evaporated into the air with the heat emanating off my body.

"Bella, I'm hear my love. I'm so sorry! Concentrate for me, please my lovely Bella." Edward was here. After everything I was going through he still seemed to love me, despite the pile of bones I would soon become.

"I love you Edward," I cried. "Please make it stop."

"It will all be over soon Bella. Concentrate on my breathing love. Deep breaths, I know we can do this. Keep your heart beating. As soon as it's over you can have me forever. If you'll still have me. Please Bella, I'll wait for you. One breath at a time." Edward's voice was unsettled, but steady. How could such a worried man sound so wonderful. My savior.

"What's happened to me?" I screamed again. "I'm going to die!"

"No Bella, no! You're going to be fine. Just deep breaths. You've been bitten Bella, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. It's almost over my love, it's almost over." I felt a slight squeeze from my charred hand. I tried with all my strength to squeeze him back, but nothing came. Just more fire. But he promised me it would be over soon, that we would have each other forever. I would be like him, forever seventeen with him by my side.

So I quietly cried "Okay, Edward," and kept my mouth shut. He would never hear me suffer again. I concentrated on my jagged breath, and Edwards steady rhythm of breathing. My heart murmured quicker; picking up its pace. The fire raced along and I tried to recall the face of my love. I was aware that when I would wake, the dry burn in my throat would ache to a monstrous thirst. I must learn to control it. I would learn to control it. I pledged not to be the rampant newborn that I had been told I would become. _I wanted this. _I reminded myself. I get to keep Edward forever. Please just let me survive this.

Thousands of heartbeats later, the pain began to subside through my toes. The fire was being extinguished from the outside in, and the incessant twitching suddenly stopped. The fire raced inward, determined to obliterate my heart.

"You're almost there Bella. Be strong." Edward brushed his lips across my hand. All I felt was the smoothness of his perfect mouth. The temperature no longer felt cool. It was as if his lips were the smoothest rose pedal, gently falling onto my skin. Had the burn not been rampaging through my chest, it would have been a pleasant experience.

"Carlisle, Alice, Jasper!" Edward cried out.

"Oh, it's almost over." Carlisle replied as he flew through the doorway.

"Oh isn't she just breathtaking!" Alice exasperated. "Just look at that face Edward."

"The most exquisite beauty that has ever lived." He replied. "She's been that way since she has ever existed."

My heart danced valiantly against the charging fire, fighting to the death. The burn quickened away from my limbs even faster than before as it charged through my chest, forcing my heart to take a final bow. My back arched in surrender to the pain and I broke out into another scream.

"This is it Bella, please forgive me. I love you, stay with me."

The fire was dying. It had burned every live object in its path, leaving me with nothing left. Only embers now, my heart fluttered toward its last beat, until there was silence.

"Bella?" My angel whispered. And I opened my eyes to behold the most beautiful man I had ever encountered.


	4. Chapter 4

**EPOV**

I listened intently, hungry for just one word. One thought, but I heard nothing. Her mind was as silent as ever while my own swam around with infinitive questions. She was absolutely beautiful, breathtakingly so. Although the rich brown eyes had been set ablaze into a fiery red color, they were just as deep, just as thoughtful as before. Her gaze upon me was nothing short of I raised my hand gently to caress her cheek, being ever so careful not to startle her. She took a quick intake of breath, and that seemed to catch her off guard even more. The tastes and smells of the air around us were somewhat off. Sterile equipment, bleach, alcohol, and several other not so pleasant flavors lingered in the air.

"Bella, love." I whispered. "Bella you're okay. Everything's okay. Take it slow sweetheart."

She sat up in a split second, looking around confused, searching for answers.

"Bella, I assume you understand what's happened." Carlisle stood at the door frame with Jasper at his side, ready to protect any signs of aggression or anger from a thirsty newborn. "Bella you were bitten by James in Phoenix. I am terribly sorry that it's happened this way. Had we known you had been bitten sooner, we would have been able to stop the poison from spreading. I know you're thirsty, so we're all ready to take you hunting as soon as you're able."

"Is that okay Bella? Let's take care of your thirst first, and we'll answer your questions later." I squeezed her hand looking for any response. Mostly I just wanted to hear her voice. However, she solemnly nodded and it appeared that I'd have to wait just a little longer for that little wish to be fulfilled.

The four of us walked cautiously to the door where we gazed out into the dark morning. The flowers had all bloomed with the end of spring, and the dark sky lured above us in the richest deep cool tones the atmosphere could provide.

"Edward?" My heart fluttered at her voice, and I looked down to the blood crazed beauty at my side.

"Yes Bella?" I asked.

"Where are all the others? Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Esme? Aren't they coming with us?"

"Not now love. Esme and Rose are still in Phoenix working around to delete any video footage of what has happened. Alice and Emmett went after Victoria, the red head. Alice is too fast for her, and if she gets caught, Emmett will be able to finish her off."

A look of terror washed over her beautiful complexion and I embraced her in a hug. "Don't worry. They have complete control over the situation. Let's not focus on that right now though, come on, let's go hunt. She looked ahead and nodded. She gulped down the extra venom pooling in her mouth, and I was eager to extinguish the fire satiating her throat.

We took off ahead of Jasper and Carlisle so they could keep an eye on Bella. I kept her hand firmly in mine as we ran lightning speed to the north east; far enough from the town and from the treaty line we had made so long ago. This was the best time I thought to take anyone out for a first hunt. It was four in the morning, so it would be near impossible to cross any human scent pacing through the woods. When we had run far enough into the wilderness I proclaimed "stop" into a wide clearing.

A book streamed nearby where two elk stood lapping up its contents, unaware of the predators lurking nearby. Bella looked at me with a face of disgust.

"I know," I chuckled. They smell a little more sour than sweet, but you'll get used to it soon enough. We can find you a carnivore later, but at least this will quench your thirst." Before I could give any directions, she had dropped my hand at my side and sprinted towards one of the tamed beast. Leaping over its strong neck, she grabbed a hold of one of the antlers and lowered her mouth to its throat. The animal moaned in response and the second elk ran off in a sprint. Bella drank from the beast until his legs finally gave out and gurgled his last breath. Before another second had past, she rose up again and ran in the direction of the second.

"Jasper! Carlisle!" I yelled panicked. "Don't let her get out of our sight." Although the likelihood of Bella running into a human was sparse, I didn't ever want to look into her eyes if she accidentally preyed on another human. She would never forgive herself. No matter her young age, I was still able to catch up to her in a matter of seconds, but she was already in the middle of drinking the second bull. I stood to watch silently, and when she finished, she shoved the mighty carcass aside and sat down on the ground.

"Give us some privacy for just a second," I whispered low enough for Carlisle and Jasper to hear. "But stay close."

"We'll wait by the brook Edward," Carlisle said. Then I could hear their light footsteps walking back in the direction we came in.

Bella was now clutching her knees to her face, eyes wide open and completely lost.

"Bella?" I asked. "Can I come sit next to you?"

She nodded, and I didn't waste another second. I sat down next to her with my arm around her as she sobbed. How could I have let this happen? I had torn every good thing away from this angel's heart only to deprive her of an existence of misery. My silent heart ached to comfort her and I didn't have a word to say, so instead I just cradled her in my arms, waiting for her succumb to silence.

We sat there for an hour, maybe two until the sun started to break out over the mountaintops. The sky was still highly overcast as usual, so no luminescent diamonds were able to reflect off our skin. For this I was grateful. She had already gone through so much, and I didn't wish her to see even more change than was necessary.

"Come on," I whispered into her ear. "Let's take a slow walk back to the house and you can ask me whatever you want."

"I love you," she said. She gazed up towards my face and looked at me with such adoration and trust, that I knew I would spend the rest of my existence trying to make this woman happy. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. An orchestra of symphonies. In this utter moment of sadness and depression, my being couldn't bear to be so far away from this miraculous creature. So I selfishly leaned in to steal a kiss. She willingly gave one back.

How different this kissing was! There was no burn in my throat, no monster tearing at my mind trying to unleash itself to kill this perfect creature. Instead I was able to hold her closer and give myself to her in every way I had ever hoped.

_Edward, I know you want to be with her, but we need to get back to the house. The others are home._

Ugh. Alright! "Bella, the others have just arrived. We should probably go back to the house so Alice doesn't bite my head off." I was a little more than annoyed, seeing as my first moment with Bella as an immortal was cut short by my exuberant little sister. _Alone time later, _I promised myself. It's the only thing that would get me through today.

"Hmm, okay." She said smiling. She took my hand in hers as we walked at a human pace towards the house, curious about whatever news was about to be brought.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for taking so long to update! I'm trying to keep up with two stories at once. Thank you to all of my readers! I had problems trying to understand Bella in this chapter, as this transformation is so incredibly different than the one we read about in Breaking Dawn. She's had no time to prepare for it! Anyways, I hope you like it! I'm hoping to update again tomorrow, but we'll see! As always, reviews are appreciated! **

**BPOV**

With my one stupid mistake, I had managed to completely turn my life upside down. I had made the decision to face James alone. But in all honesty, my intensions were good. I thought he had Renee. I would never let one that I love be killed in place of me, never. The thought of becoming a vampire had crossed my mind in more than a few occasional instances. I knew that if I wanted to be with Edward forever that I would have to be changed. He was what I wanted. I grasped my thoughts to him during my transformation. It was the only thing keeping me from screaming

"You know, I thought once you had been changed I would be able to hear your thoughts." Edward said. I still couldn't get over how remarkably beautiful he was. "But here I am grasping to your every move, listening intently trying to get a glimpse into your remarkable, beautiful mind, but it's as silent as ever."

I thanked my lucky stars for this miraculous glitch in my brain. I knew what I was thinking would only cause Edward pain. I didn't want him knowing my uncertainties as an immortal. This was something too secret and personal for anyone to ever hear. My emotional state was anything but stable, and my newborn emotions seemed to lash out at any given second.

"Bella please love, tell me what you're thinking."

"I was thinking I'm glad you still can't hear my thoughts."

"And why is that? Bella don't ever feel like you have to keep anything from me. I want to help you in any way I can, so please let me." Edwards pleas nearly knocked me into a course of hysterics. I wanted nothing more than to break down into his shoulders and cry. My inability to do so nearly frightened me more and made me angry. How dare this happen to me! I had so much more to do before I was ready for this life. Poor Charlie, poor Renee. What was I going to tell them?

"I'm worried about my parents," I replied as composed as I possibly could. "I know I can't see them ever again, but that doesn't make it any easier. Isn't Charlie looking for me?"

"Yes. And we're not making it any easier on him either unfortunately. I'm not telling you this to worry you Bella, but I don't ever want to keep anything from you. When you yelled at him the other night and drove off in your fit of hysterics, he waited patiently at home for a reassuring phone call from you. After two days of no contact, he called Renee. She hadn't heard anything from you either so she took the first flight back to Phoenix to try and find you. Charlie called my house soon after, asking if I had heard from you. I lied and told him I hadn't, and asked if something was wrong. When he told us you were missing, we feigned worry and told him some of our family members were off looking for you. This was just to get Charlie off our trail from suspecting anything form us. I offered to stay in Forks, checking in with surrounding hotels to see if you had checked in anywhere. Of course we knew you were just in Carlisle's study. We also had to hide your truck. It's located safely in a storage unit a few miles from Seattle. We didn't want him discovering it in our driveway, or off the side of the road somewhere. As to where it goes from here, I'm not quite sure. Alice and Esme have returned and are supposed to be formulating a plan. I'm sure we'll hear what it is when we get back to the house."

I was silent for a few minutes. Everything he said had played out into a very convenient manner. For all my father knew, I could have been abducted anywhere. I had simply vanished off every radar. But then I thought of all the worry and trouble I had cost my new family.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward crooned with the most sincere and velvet voice he could possibly conceive. That's where I couldn't hold it in anymore. I felt my control waning, and I broke down into a fit of dry sobs.

"I'm sorry Edward. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I'm sorry I've made you angry."

"Angry? What on earth are you talking about you absurd girl?"

"For becoming like you. I knew you didn't want me like this. Am I too different now that you wont want me anymore?"

"Stop being ridiculous Bella! I am completely yours. Heart mind, and soul; I belong to you. It doesn't matter if the fluster from your cheeks has vanished. I don't care what color eyes you have. It doesn't matter to me at all what you look like. Look at me."

I looked into his deep, desperate, golden eyes. "Bella darling, you are what I want. I should be the one apologizing, for letting you believe that I would want anything but you. To be completely honest, I feel guilty. I couldn't be happier that I no longer have to hold my breath to kiss you." He leaned down and grazed my lips in the softest manner. "I am in utter bliss that I can hold you close to me and breathe in your beautiful scent without my throat scorching into flames. But Bella, I will never feel at peace unless you're happy. So please know that I will never leave you; as long as you want me. I will love you Isabella Swan, to the ends of the earth, and even beyond that."

"I love you too Edward. You will always have me." I replied. I couldn't form my sentences into poetic words as he had so eloquently done. I held him close to me feeling the satin smoothness of his skin, relishing in the comfort of my forever mate. "You're the only thing I have that's certain right now," I said. And I meant it. My new family was completely foreign. I had known them for months, sure, but nothing felt more at home than Edward's arms around me.

"Bella, please don't cover your feelings and hold back your anger on my behalf. I can tell that you're broken. Although I can't read your thoughts, you can't fool me into thinking you're alright. Your humanity has been stripped from you without your consent. You weren't able to say goodbye to your family and friends, and even though you had the absurd idea of wanting this life, I know this wasn't the way you wanted to enter it."

"I just feel lost,. I don't know who I am anymore" I muttered. The world seemed to swim around in in bright new ways, and I was a complete stranger in it. I didn't know where I belonged.

"You are my Bella," he whispered. "I won't let you forget anything you don't want to. I won't rest until I know that you're happy." I knew he was telling the truth. I was already starting to feel better.

"I feel conflicted. It is so terrible that I feel some sort of happiness, knowing I get to keep you forever? But also knowing that my friends and family are worrying about me in my former life? I have caused so much grief already, but to know that I'm content being with you just doesn't feel right."

"Love, you're safe. Please believe me when I say it will all work out."

We had walked close enough to the house where I could hear Alice's crazy antics, fighting with Carlisle to meet us outside.

"But she neeeeeds me Carlisle! I'm her best friend and she needs me right now." I could hear her shrill voice over the ebbing of the trees.

"Please Alice," Carlisle's stern voice rose over hers. "Understand both of Edward's and Bella's circumstances at the moment. They'll be here in a few moments, so just be patient."

"She's always that persistent, isn't she," I said rolling my eyes.

Edward chucked in response "Yes," he replied. "And I'd have thought you'd caught onto it the first moment you met her."

I signed a breath of relief knowing the familiar voices I hear through the trees were that of my new family.

"Come on," Edward tugged lightly on my hand. "Let's go meet Alice before she hurdles over the river and tackles you to the ground."

His smile was absolutely mesmerizing and I couldn't help but stare. He seemed hesitant to leave as well as he stared deeply into my distracted gaze.

"Bella?" He asked, barely audible to even my vampire ears. "Can I kiss you?"

As a human, my cheeks would have flushed red, and my heart rate would have quickened. "You never need to ask, Edward. The answer is always." And I raised to the balls of my feet to pull him closer to my eager lips. He groaned in response so I clenched him in closer. Our first kiss just moments ago had been so desperate, so involuntary that I hadn't had the full attention to completely appreciate it. His scent and taste was so intoxicating that I nearly keeled over with pleasure. His movements were so certain, nothing holding him back. His fingers wove through my hair, every so often pulling my locks tightly in his grasp. My breathing sped with indescribable fervor as I pulled him more tightly against me. I must have pulled with too much force because he toppled over me as we rolled over the forest ground. This motion didn't hinder in breaking apart our embrace, and I had no plans of stopping it. Unfortunately, a little pixie-like being came skipping in our direction with plans to break up our passionate kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

**EPOV**

"Go away Alice," I muttered being ever so careful not to let my lips leave Bella's. I continued to kiss Bella's lovely lips and ignored my irritating little sister approaching us even faster. Unfortunately Bella's concentration slipped and she now focused on my highly irritating, overbearing little sister.

"Well hello to you too Edward. Oh, and you're welcome. I've just been running all over the country the last two days picking up the mess you could have prevented in the first place!"

I grumbled. She was right, I did owe her. While I sat next to Bella through her transformation, the rest of my family was hastily scurrying around to make things right. The least I could do was set my selfishness aside and join my family for a few minutes.

"Fine, thank you Alice. I owe you."

"Yes you do, but I just came to make sure you guys were alright." She eyed Bella excitedly and I knew she was suppressing all her excitement for her new sister so she wouldn't scare her off.

"Bella!" she exclaimed with as much control as possible. "I'm so glad you're alright! And I have to say girl, you look absolutely fabulous, besides the blood stained, muddied clothes of course..."

I still held Bella in my arms and she looked up at me hesitantly. I finally realized that she had not yet seen what the transformation had done to her physique. "Don't believe her love?" I asked. She was absolutely exquisite. When was she ever going to see herself clearly? Ever since the moment I locked eyes on her, I knew she was no ordinary girl. Although her deep brown irises now glowed bright red, they were still deep and intuitive. Her skin was silk to my touch, and her lips were made just for me. How was I so lucky to find this amazing creature? I just hoped that one day she could feel as happy and content as I felt to have her.

"Well come on silly girl! Let's get you back to the house to see everyone!" Alice chimed.

Bella still felt a little skiddish and emotionally unstable. I wasn't a hundred percent sure she wouldn't snap the moment I loosened my grip around her waist.

"Bella, if you need some time before we go back, we can sit her and chat for you to gain some stabilization. Perhaps you're thirsty still?" My first priority was to make sure she was safe and comfortable. She gulped and massaged her throat.

"No I think I'm fine," she said. "It's good to see you Alice, I missed you." The small smirk on her lips pushed Alice over the edge and she came hurdling over to her, enveloping her into a hug.

"Bella, we're going to have so much fun! And Esme and I have sorted out all the complications. The house is just about packed and we thought we'd give the east coast a shot for a little while. How does that sound?"

It was too much. I saw the worry grow in Bella's eyes, and before we knew it, she slipped through Alice's fingers and went running back towards the forest.

"Nice one Alice." I barked, and started after Bella, hoping my legs would carry me faster than hers would.

_I'm sorry Edward. I didn't even think about what I was going to say to her till I said it. I had no way of knowing she would flip out like that._

I ran faster. Bella's newborn strength was carrying her quicker, and I prayed to God I would find her before she found someone else.

**BPOV**

I couldn't really think. No, that was wrong. I was thinking about too much. My new mind had opened up so wide that I could communicate several different worries at the same time. The east coast? What about Charlie? Was I ever going to conquer the thirst building up inside of me? I could feel the pressure within me build up and I felt the need to hit something, and fast. I was fast approaching a giant sycamore tree that was easily a few centuries old. My human eyes would have seen it as intimidating; however I looked at it as a worthy opponent. As I came upon it, I past the left side of it with my arms stretched out. The tree groaned as I whipped it from its rooted position, planking it firmly to the ground. I spun back around facing the base of the trunk and kicked as hard as I could. Shards of wood splintered across the forest and I stood there staring at the massive hole I created. I didn't even feel like me anymore. The clouded human memories of my past haunted my brain as I tried to firmly grasp onto any concept of humanity I had left. Dim memories of my father surfaced and I tried hard to embed his face to my memory. My poor father. He was at home worrying sick about my disappearance and I was frolicking in the forest, mangling bears and deer with all the free time in the world. The worst part was I was only seconds from his front door. I bent down to the ground, falling on my knees, completely insistent on avoiding another break down like before.

All of a sudden, the wind was throwing up leaves and I turned into a defense crouch bearing my teeth. Edward appeared beside me.

"Phew, you know how fast you are? I was wondering if I'd ever be able to catch up to you."

"I didn't know if I was going to stop," I confessed. "I'm sorry I lost it back there, I'm not sure what happened."

"You're young," he said as though it were a simple answer. "Your emotions are running extremely high, and your body and mind feel foreign. Of course you felt afraid. To be honest, I'm surprised you're behaving as calmly as you are. Every newborn I've ever encountered wasn't able to hold a rash and civil conversation for days after their transformation. You're doing splendidly Bella."

"I don't feel like it. I've abandoned my father. I've let you down. I should be the one apologizing. Of course I knew we couldn't stay here, it's far too dangerous. But I'm not sure how long I can control my thirst. Especially through a moving transition. How will we make it to the east coast without someone else's blood on my hands?"

"We'll all help you, I promise. I understand you need to regain our trust since we so foolishly let you down these past few days. Please don't apologize to me because it was me who let you down. This should never have happened to you, and I am so completely sorry for what you have become. It is not what I intended."

"Really? And how did you suspect our relationship to continue if I didn't become what you are?"

"You're telling me you expected me to change you Bella? Of all the absurd accusations, you should know that I would never willingly take your humanity from you."

"I wanted this Edward!" I shouted. Why could he not read my mind? It was him that I wanted! "I want you! I never want to leave you. I wanted this life; it's just not how I expected it to be. I feel utterly amazing! The running, I never understood it before, but now I don't know how you could ever stand to drive behind a wheel when it feels so exhilarating! I expected the thirst. I just wished I could have said goodbye before this happened."

"Bella get this straight. I will never leave you. I will never let anymore harm come to you. If you want your family in your life, we need to build up to it, and it won't be without difficulty. Everything will. Be. Alright. Trust me."

I took a deep breath. I did trust him. I wanted to believe everything could be okay, but I needed to live it first. I figured I had kept my new family waiting long enough, so I made a suggestion. "How about we head back to the house to see what Alice and Esme have to say."

"You sure? There's no rush, we have all the time in the world."

"Positive. Although no funny business! You're distracting as it is without your body touching mine. I honestly don't think we'd ever make it back to the house if you kissed me once."

He chuckled and smiled. "You have no idea how hard that will be for me love, but I'll let you lead the way. If you want we can race?"

I didn't hesitate. "Deal. On your mark, get set, go!" I wouldn't let him distract me any longer. I wanted nothing more than to disappear into the forest with the love of my life, but my conscience got the better of me, and I flew back in the direction I had came.

We arrived back at the Cullen mansion less than two minutes later, and I was several strides in front of Edward. Jumping across the river was my favorite part. I made a mental note of making another trip outside later tonight to see how far I could jump.

When we landed on the turf, Edward took my hand in his, and let us into the giant entryway. The whole family was congregated around the center. Rose and Emmett sitting on the couch, Jasper sitting in the front chair, Carlisle and Esme standing to the door, and Alice right in front of me.

"Oh Bella I'm so sorry! I didn't even think to look at how you would react to that. I'm so sorry!" She pulled me in softly for a sisterly hug.

"It's alright Alice, I was the one who overreacted. Everything's fine now." I had to believe it was.

I couldn't help but notice Rosalie's sad eyes as she clenched Emmett next to her, staring intently at me. That was weird. Rosalie had never taken to me ever. I never thought she cared much about me, but here she was in front of me, seeming to mourn for my dilemma.

"Oh Bella sweetie, I'm so glad you're alright. I can't imagine what we would have done if you didn't make it!" Esme approached me with her motherly love and I couldn't help but fall right into her arms.

"It's okay sweetie. We're your family and we'll always protect you."

"Bella, do you feel well enough to continue with this conversation? Is your thirst under control?" Carlisle interjected.

I nodded slightly, eager to learn of what was to happen to my past, and my future.

"I suppose I should start with my story then if that's alright with you Edward," Alice chimed in. Edward nodded and she continued.

"Well of course Jazz and I were completely scared to death after Bella didn't return from the restroom at the airport. Jasper nearly walked into the room with a handful of ladies! Luckily I had a vision of her escaping about a minute later so I ran to find Jasper, and went into the restroom looking for Bella. Of course I knew she had already gone, heading towards the ballet studio. Well, I knew Edward would have a fit if he had no way of getting to Bella on a sunny day, so we were forced to wait for them to be let off the plane before we could leave. I had underestimated you Bella. I had no idea how quickly you would be able to get to the studio before we could."

I vaguely remembered my idiotic plan to save my mother only days before.

"So when we finally found the studio, we had to wait for a couple of minutes for some irritatingly slow pedestrians to leave our eye sight. Bella was already with James, and he had broken her leg, and a couple of her ribs. He was obviously waiting for Edward to arrive." Edward unnecessarily squirmed with unease to this statement.

"We had all run in to help and a few minutes later had him pinned. We were able to take care of him quickly enough, and Edward ran to Bella's aide. She was so quiet, at least abnormally so for someone who had been bitten. I think your nerves and senses got all mixed up because of your other injuries. You didn't know what part of your body hurt the most. By the time we had seen the bite mark, the venom had already leaked into your main organs and there was no stopping it. Had we found out soon enough, Carlisle probably would have been able to suck the poison out before it affected you. Anyways, by that time, the sun had set and it was beginning to get dark outside. Edward carried Bella to the car, and we split up. Esme and Rosalie volunteered to stay behind in Phoenix to work things out with Renee, and also to get rid of the evidence at the studio. Carlisle, Edward and Bella drove back to Forks. Jazz, Emmett, and I caught a plane back to Washington. Emmett caught scent of James's mate Victoria and took after her. Jasper stayed behind with Edward to make sure Bella transitioned okay, and to calm Edward's nerves.

I briefly got a glance of Victoria, so I went to find Emmett to see if we could take her down together. She must be really indecisive, because we never saw her. We never caught her scent or anything; like her trail had been wiped clean. Unfortunately she's still out there somewhere, but I think she fears we're too big of a threat to do anything stupid. When Em and I got back, you had already woken, and everyone was gone. I would have gone to look for you, but Rose and Esme were arriving, so we stuck behind to greet them."

"What about Charlie?" I asked.

"Edward got a handful of menacing phone calls from him this week. Blaming him for your disappearance. Don't get mad at him though, he's just worried about you like any other parent would. He's already contacted every area of police forces that you could have possibly crossed, and has set up several search parties throughout the area. I believe it's on Amber Alert. Renee and Phil are back in Phoenix looking for you as well. Esme met up with them two days ago. We thought it would look less guilty for your disappearance if we volunteered to look after you. Edward told Charlie he was in Phoenix three days ago looking for you, but called him again when he returned. I think that's about all I've got."

"So currently, my parents are still in a state of disarray and worry? What are we going to do about that?" I asked.

It was Carlisle this time who decided to step in. "Well Bella, this part falls completely on you. Fortunately, the way you left gives the upper advantage. Your car has been missing, and there's no trace of you anywhere. For all anyone knows, you may be on the bottom of a river somewhere. It doesn't make any of us look suspicious in any way. It looks like a possible kidnapping. However, I've talked with Jasper and Edward about your uneasiness leaving your parents in the dark. I don't think you're ready for it yet, but we have come up with a solution if you'd like to hear it?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry everyone for taking so long to update! I was honestly hitting some writers block with this story. I ended the last chapter differently than I planned and didn't know how to get out of it. Hopefully this will be a sufficient follow-up chapter :) Let me know what you think!**

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><p>Review<p>

It_ was Carlisle this time who decided to step in. "Well Bella, this part falls completely on you. Fortunately, the way you left gives the upper advantage. Your car has been missing, and there's no trace of you anywhere. For all anyone knows, you may be on the bottom of a river somewhere. It doesn't make any of us look suspicious in any way. It looks like a possible kidnapping. However, I've talked with Jasper and Edward about your uneasiness leaving your parents in the dark. I don't think you're ready for it yet, but we have come up with a solution if you'd like to hear it?"_

**Chapter 7 **

**EPOV**

All ears were intently listening in on Carlisle as I watched his plan unfold in his mind. I wondered profusely how on earth it would work. My family was near meticulous, OCD even when it came to making a family plan. Every time we moved, our house was scoured clean leaving no trace of us behind. Not only were we able to convince our neighbors that our human tirade was true, but we gave them no reason to question it otherwise after we had left.

The plan Carlisle had just concocted in his head was the complete opposite of all these things. In fact, it was near careless. However, humans were so obtuse and willing to accept what they wanted to see that it just might work.

Bella nodded for Carlisle to continue with his thoughts and so he started to explain. "This plan is going to heavily reflect on your strength Bella. Right now, the confusion and anger you feel are all the traits of a newborn. You are skittish, worried, and highly unstable." I looked at my darling love as she nodded her head in agreement.

"Technically, you could fall out of control any minute, and we have to be prepared to suppress any outbursts you feel coming. Don't be frightened, because this feeling will fade soon enough. For the next year, you'll be testing your abilities. Your newborn strength will start to wane, and your ability to be in proximity to humans will become easier. Your eyes will fade to a golden color like ours. We all know that right now, the most important thing to concentrate on is everyone's safety. Victoria is still out there; possibly seeking revenge, so extra precautions will be made for you and Charlie. I doubt she would go to the trouble of traveling to Phoenix and Florida for Renee, as her chances of being caught are much more possible. Plus, she'll want to stay close to you."

My anger seethed through me and I hissed with displeasure at the thought of Victoria hurting my Bella even more. She would be ripped apart and burned alive before she could do more harm. Bella stroked my arm in comfort, and I stole a glance at her. Her bright, ruby eyes showed worry and anxiety, but more importantly, a reassurance. She kept me grounded to the little amount of humanity I had left. This woman was truly my savior! What I felt for her could not be expressed in any words or action. I felt so foolish. I was acting rashly over something she had the right to be angry for, and here she was, sitting on the couch next to me calmly and coolly, being _my_ support.

I bent down to kiss her forehead, and she snuggled in closer to me.

Carlisle continued. "For the bit that includes heavily on you Bella, we know you want to keep Charlie and Renee in your life. This part will all depend on how you can handle this next year. I figure, that for now, we can continue on with your story to be a runaway. No doubt Charlie will be searching for you as long as it takes, so we need to keep the trail fresh. I realize that this action is terribly out of your character and very irresponsible, but we'll need to make sure we do it right; make it believable. We can have letters post marked and sent to your parents telling them that you're fine, and that you will come home when you're ready. If we have the letters mailed from different areas of the country, they'll suspect you aren't staying in one place for too long. This will buy yourself some time to learn how to be human again. Hopefully the year-long separation will distract people from the changes to your physical appearance enough that they won't think it too odd. I'm sure Alice could also contribute to a vampire disguise."

Alice nearly jumped in her seat at the opportunity of a makeover. It wasn't the makeup and clothes that were getting her excited, but her chance to be a part of Bella's adjustment. She loved her like a sister, and although she had a hard time showing it, loved her deeper than she'd ever know.

"She's ruthless isn't she," Bella whispered quietly with a small smile on her lips. It was the most genuine one I had seen today, and it lifted my spirits in the slightest.

"Wait till you let her get going," I chuckled. "She's a force of nature, that one."

_I can hear you two Edward, I'm not stupid. And you don't have to worry, I'm not going to use Bella as my new fashion guinea pig. I just want to try and help her be happy._

I smirked at her and nodded once so she understood. But then my least favorite part of the plan was brought to discussion.

Carlisle looked intently at me for his next words while I contemplated if it were even possible for me to do. "The hardest part of this whole thing, however will be yours Edward. Police will be searching our home in most likely a few days time, and you will have to continue on with your life as if Bella had indeed left. The whole family will continue their schooling, and I will continue to work. Edward, you can under no circumstance drop out of school, it makes us all the more suspicious. Bella, you will stay home with Esme during the day. If you wish, you can homeschool to keep up with your studies."

A state of shock crossed Bella's beautiful features as she snapped her head in my direction. I understood every look she was giving me. How on earth could I leave her now, when I just thought a few days ago that I would lose her forever? High school was indeed my own personal purgatory and the school days looming ahead were already starting to taunt me. But I would do it for Bella. I could never be selfish from her, so I nodded to her and whispered "it'll be okay Bella. We can make this work. Summer vacation is just around the corner anyways." It was the only thing that could keep me going.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked. "I realize this plan is far-fetched and near impossible, but I think we could make it work. If you don't want to go through the trouble, we can give your parents a clean break and move on. The choice is yours."

I listened around to the thoughts of my family. None of them wanted to leave this town. It was our home. In the many places we had lived over the years, none of them made us feel comfortable and even human like Forks did. The most surprising comment I heard however, was Rosalie's.

_Poor girl. I know exactly how she feels. To leave her family behind while she lives on in agony? Hmmph, maybe we will actually get along now that we have something in common._

This stray thought was far from a compliment, but coming from Rosalie was a pure miracle. Rose found it hard to accept anyone outside our established family, and I knew she had held ill-will towards Bella when we first met, but her understanding and willingness to bond was alien to her. I'd have to be careful letting them spend too much time together though. The last thing I wanted was Bella living the rest of her existence in angst towards her new life because Rose had steered her in that direction.

"I want to do it," Bella blurted. "I know right now my parent's will be worried, but it's far less agonizing them letting them think I'm dead. I don't know if I could live with that."

Sighs of relief from everyone surfaced.

"Okay Bella. Well then everyone? We better get to work if we want this plan to be fool proof. Jasper, Emmett, Edward? Could you come help me in my study for a while?"

My two brothers rose up and left their wives sitting on the sofa. I on the other hand, remained seated, clinging to Bella.

"Go," she said. "I'll be fine." I sighed just a little at the thought of leaving her behind and stood. I raised her palm to my lips and kissed it softly.

"I'll be right back, promise." And so I left her. The dark haired beauty remained sitting as I left to fix our future.

**BPOV**

I watched Edward turn his back to mine and run off upstairs in a blink. I looked across from me at two beautiful vampires smiling lightly in my direction, and I wondered what I should say during this awkward silence. Apparently I wouldn't have to wait for long because Alice was already headed in my direction.

"Oh Bella, can I just say how sorry I am about earlier? I was so stupid and careless." She embraced me in a hug stronger than any 5'2" sprite-like girl should be able to.

"It's fine Alice, really."

The next motion left me rendered speechless. "Bella, I know how hard this all is for you. I've been there too. If there's anything I can help you with I'm here for you." Rosalie's comment seemed sincere, but all the hazy memories surfacing I remembered about her was her icy nature towards me. She had never even been kind. Had she ever spoken to me directly before?

"Why are you being nice to me?" I didn't realize how awful that sounded till it had already left my mouth.

She smiled and took in a deep breath. "Bella, regardless of my behavior in the past, I've never hated you. I was jealous of what you had."

Jealous? Why on earth would she be jealous of me? She had everything any woman would want.

"Let me continue. You had a life I could never have Bella. The opportunity to grow older, get married and have a family. There was always the possibility of getting hurt, making mistakes, making accidents. The whole reality of it all made me completely envious Bella. None of that really affects you after you're immortal. My humanity was taken from me against my will, as was yours. I'm just trying to explain to you that I know what it feels like to hate what you've become; to know that you've hurt people. I just want you to know that I'm here for you."

A heartfelt talk with Rose? I never thought in a million years we would connect on this level. Maybe she did understand what was happening to me. Maybe somehow, we were more alike than I would have ever thought possible.

"Thanks Rose. I really do appreciate it."

"Now, about those clothes you're wearing…" Alice raised her eyebrows at me and my stomach did flip flops. Was that possible? I felt sick at the possibility of a fashion show.

"No Alice, I'm not playing Barbie with you today."

"Oh relax, I'm not in the mood anyways. I just thought you'd like to freshen up. You haven't showered since our hotel room in Phoenix, and you're still wearing that blood stained outfit. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of borrowing some of your clothes for you from your bedroom."

She skipped into the other room and returned with a large duffel bag.

"Why you prefer these to the pretty silk pajamas your mom gave you, I'll never know." She said tossing me some tattered pieces of fabric. I lifted it up, sifting through memories and finally noticed them as my favorite pair of bedtime sweats. I broke out into a huge grin, she knew me too well.

"Thanks Alice, these are just what I needed."

"You're welcome. I had to wash them like seven times to get your scent out of them. I don't think you'd be too comfortable wearing clothes reeking of human tonight."

I couldn't have asked for a better present. I momentarily lost control as I hurdled towards my new sister in a frenzy, embracing her in a hug.

"Jeesh! Ouch Bella, let up a little!"

"Oops."

Alice giggled. "Now about that shower…no offense Bella but you kind of smell like you've been roaming with the deer for weeks, not just a day. Let's go get that started for you." I had been wearing the same clothes for nearly four days. My hair was in tatters from my earlier hunting trip, and blood was stained up and down my body.

She took my hand and led me towards Edward's bathroom. She started the water, and left out a few towels. The steam rose from the curtain and started fogging up the mirror. _The mirror. _I wasn't sure I could face that yet, so at all costs, I avoided any type of reflection. I was just about to close the door and climb in when she yelled out "catch Bella!" and I held out my hand retrieving my own bottle of strawberry shampoo.


	8. Chapter 8

**Yikes! It's been far too long since I've posted for this story. I took a very long hiatus over the summer and completely forgot about it. I think I also had a bit of writer's block at the time. Anyways, new chapter! Enjoy! Let me know what you think!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

When I was done with my shower and dressed into my sweats, I felt like me again. These little human routines would keep me balanced. I could still be me. I sat on the small black, leather couch in Edward's room while running a brush through my hair. Moments later, he was standing at the door.

"I like that you still smell like you, but without the burn." He smiled pointing to his throat.

"I don't understand how you did it," I replied.

"Believe me, it was worth it."

"Thank you for thinking so."

I caught a snarl in my hair and tugged gently.

"Here, let me help you." Edward walked over to me, sitting down next to me on the leather sofa. I handed him the brush as he stroked it up and down through my locks.

"I remember doing this for my mother," he said. This was a first. He had rarely shared anything with me from his human life.

"You combed her hair?" I asked.

"Yes, when I was very young. She would sit in front of her vanity and comb her hair every evening. Sometimes she would hand me the brush and she'd hum to me as I combed through her hair. It's one of the most vivid memories I have with my mother actually. She was quite beautiful."

"Do you miss her?" I asked.

"Of course. She was the one who saved me really. She died before I did. She asked Carlisle to save me, no matter what cost. That woman loved me with her whole heart."

"And your father?"

"He was a strict businessman, but a wonderful father and husband. I liked watching him shave. I watched him give my mother a kiss every morning on his way to work. He always sat at the head of the table. I remember little things like that. Memories have become hazy, and I also wasn't prepared for this life. Memories fade if you don't make an effort to remember."

"I'm sorry, I can't believe I didn't know anything about your parents before now."

"It's alright. It was a long time ago. Carlise and Esme are my parents now."

"They're my family too, you know." I explained.

"They wouldn't have it any other way." He set the brush down and swept my hair back behind my neck. Carefully he took his right hand and pulled me in for a tender kiss. I had never believed in chemistry for love until this moment. The electrifying sensation through our skin was almost potent enough to restart our hearts. My heart was lifted and the pulsing between our bodies intensified as our kiss deepened.

"You know, it's all worth it for you just to hold me like this," I muttered.

"All I've ever wanted was to hold you this close. It was difficult at the time, but so necessary."

"I _want _you Edward. Please." I begged.

"Not yet, love. I want it to be special."

"When?"

"Soon, I promise."

"Okay." I succumbed to the fact that life was how it was. I nestled closer into the man that I loved as he continuously combed his fingers through my hair."

"Mmm, that feels good." I muttered.

"I love you so much Bella, I'm so sorry." He kissed me on top of my head as he pulled me in even closer.

"It's not your fault Edward. And how could I not be happy now that I get to keep you forever?"

"But at what cost? Your family? Your humanity? I'll spend the rest of my existence making it up to you Isabella."

"Hush. Just promise to never leave me." I lifted my head to his and he bowed to mine. This kissing was so much more than something you could ever describe. There was this warmth that built from inside of me, spreading from my fingers and toes. It awakened every acute inch of my body into a blissful jolt that magnified with every passing second. Our kissing intensified and soon Edward was pulling on my hair to lift my chin closer to his. I fastened above him quickly and took his face in both my hands.

"I don't want to wait anymore." I said and lowered in for another kiss. I heard him whimper beneath me as he seemed to give in to my request. It took me all but one second to rip the fragile cloth of his shirt off and admire his beautiful body. A possessive growl erupted from his mouth. Carnal lust. I would get what I wanted tonight as he tackled me to the floor with me wishing for just one thing; more Edward, more.

**EPOV**

I had already been a vampire the first time I kissed Bella. I had felt the magnified touch pass between us, even as she was a human. It was a constant battle in my mind to keep her safe; stay gentle with her, for if I held her too closely, she'd end up in the ER. We sat in this room as equals now. She had me at my mercy, and I wanted nothing more than to give myself to her. But everything in my mind was screaming _stop! _Because knowing myself, I needed to do this right.

My shirt was already in tatters across the floor, and I had Bella underneath me on my bedroom floor rug. Her eyes burned with desire as she thought I'd give into her, but I was adamant. She didn't fully belong to me yet.

"Bella, darling, please stop. Wait just a moment, I have to ask you something."

She lay as a statue with her eyes open in shock. She tried to register rejection through my face, but there was none. The look she was left with was only curiosity. She sat up looking into my eyes waiting for an explanation.

"Come here," I asked ushering to sit on the couch. She did so quickly without blinking.

"Wait here."

I ran to the corner of my room into a cabinet I had visited far too often most recently, and took from it a small velvet box. Ideally, I would have been doing this years from now, but given the current circumstances, I could wait no longer. I slowly walked back over to the couch and crouched to one knee. Her breathing hitched in surprise as I took her left hand in mine.

"Isabella Marie Swan. I wanted to give you the world. I wanted to give you life, but it seems that I have taken that from you. I will spend the rest of my life showing you that all I have to give is love. No one will ever love you as much as I do.

Up to the moment I met you, my life had been a moonless night. I lived without meaning without knowing what true love meant. You brought me back to life. You are my heart, and my soul. Will you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my wife?"

Her facial expression showed shock. Was it joy? Horror? I could not tell. It must have been only seconds since I asked her the question, but it seemed like a millennium.

"Please baby, say something?" I asked.

"You know, if I were still a seventeen year old human in high school, my answer would have been hell no, but now being like you, I couldn't imagine a day without you. I want nothing more than to be yours Edward Cullen. Of course I will."

I let out the unnecessary breath I was holding in and let my smile widen to the sides of my face. I kissed her exuberantly as I placed the intricate Victorian ring onto her ring finger where it placed perfectly. My family thankfully gave us the privacy we both craved as we relished being in each other's presence as the other's betrothed.

"Is this why you want to wait?" Bella asked.

I nodded. "I know it's silly and old fashioned. But it's the only rule I haven't broken. I don't care if we marry in Vegas tomorrow. I just want you to be officially mine first."

"Edward, I was yours the moment I first saw you in the cafeteria."

"All the same, can we just do this one thing my way?" I asked.

"Anything you want. Let's just not wait long okay?"

"I don't think I could wait longer than this weekend." I admitted.

"Yay yay yay yay!" Alice was already running up the stairs in full wedding planning mode. She burst through the door in all smiles.

"Don't you dare Alice. Small wedding, no exceptions."

"Well no duh! It will just be our family. We could go to Alaska this weekend and invite the Denali's! It's beautiful there this time of year."

I looked at Bella for confirmation. "What do you think?" I asked.

"Fine with me, I just want it to be official," she answered.

"Well we unfortunately have to go to school for the rest of the week Edward. We need to leave in about an hour so you should get ready. Bella? The police will be coming by our house around noon, so you may want to be somewhere else around that time."

"Where am I supposed to go?"

"How about the meadow?" I suggested.

"I'm not sure I remember how to get there."

"I'll show you before we go."

"Well you two better get going if you're going to be ready in an hour." Alice chimed.

It took less than ten minutes to run with Bella to the meadow.

"I like that you still wear these," I mentioned pointing to her old sweats she donned.

"It makes me feel more like me."

"You're still you, just a little more durable."

"Thanks for bringing me here. How about the next time we visit this place is as husband and wife." She waved her ring finger in my direction which caused me to attack her with kisses.

"Yes please." I muttered in between pecks.

"Okay, we need to get back before we get too carried away. Let's go."

Before I could respond, she was already running back in the direction of the house.

Just an hour later, I was driving my Volvo back to Forks High School with the rest of my family.

"You're going to have to act better than you ever have before Edward." Alice reminded me.

"_Remember the love of your life has just disappeared. You are not supposedly engaged to her. Just sulk, okay?" _We hadn't told the rest of the family about our engagement yet, so I was thankful Alice shared this bit of information to me privately.

"I don't have to act much. I hate being away from Bella." I muttered.

As I entered the hallways, I received several glances from familiar classmates, all wondering what had happened to Bella. I hung my head in response trying to avoid exclusive eye contact.

During lunch, I sat at mine and Bella's table by myself. My sulky mood must have been pretty convincing because Mike and Jessica's table were all wondering whether they should approach and console me. Before they could make a decision, I took my cell phone and headed out to the woods behind the school. After I was sure I wasn't being followed, I called over to Bella. She still had the cell I gave her a few weeks ago, and picked up after only one ring.

"Hey beautiful, what are you up to?" I asked.

"I miss you. I'm actually just laying in the meadow reading a book."

"Really? You have reception out there?"

"Just one bar, but not too shabby given the location."

"Did the police already show up at the house?"

"Not sure. I came right back to the meadow with a pile of books after you left. You know I've read four already?"

I chuckled. "Yeah I know. Vampire brain will do that to ya."

"Hurry home. I really miss you."

"I miss you too love, more than you know. It's hard sitting here through the day with everyone basically blaming me for your disappearance. Everyone thinks I broke up with you and the reason you ran away was a result of that

. I'd never leave you Isabella."

"I know. Just be a good student and come home as soon as you can. I'll be back at the house waiting for you when you get back."

"It's a date. See you in a few hours. I love you."

"Love you too."

I hung up the phone with a grin on my face which I forced away by the time I reached the school parking lot. Three more hours of misery until I could go home.


End file.
